I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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