So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize