is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
