Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
