i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
