Heybabeimwearingurpanties
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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