it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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