whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
