It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
