Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
