More tranny stories later!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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