he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
