Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
