I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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