Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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