WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
