He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
