just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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