My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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