I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
