Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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