Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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