I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just invented taco cereal.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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