Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
