I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
