So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
