I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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