you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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