I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
