we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
