It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
