my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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