Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
