we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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