I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
