the condom got lost in my hair
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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