she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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