I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
