That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
