i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
