K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize