I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
