It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
