And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
