Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
