Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
