i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
