im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize