Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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