I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Farmville is her only friend.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
