I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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