How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
