yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
As shirtless as possible
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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