what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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