You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
