Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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