The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
